The Worst Fanfic Ever
by MoodyLithium
Summary: After reading so many terrible Titanic fanfics, I made this little baby complete with many of the mistakes and idiotic plots i have found.
1. The Worst Fanfic Ever1

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The Worst Ever Fanfiction.

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.

AN: This is meant to be written badly. I am finding myself more and more often reading fan fictions that have many idiotic plots and mistakes. 

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Setting: Carpathia. Jack and Rose are together.

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Rose: I am just so happy!

Jack: Me too! ::points:: Is it not just so odd that we have just been rescued but Cal is already here?

Cal: I am Cal! Hear me roar

Rose: Even though I am half-frozen and terrified of this man, I will be the one to tell him off!

Jack: I will hide and come running after you're done! ::runs off::

Cal: Dude, I already know you're alive.

Jack: You do?

Cal: Yeah.

Jack: How? ::is confused::

Cal: Cause, I'm CAL I know all! ::evil laugh::

Rose: Can we please get back to me, and my problems?? 

Jack: And they are…………?

Cal: Look, I'm on a tight schedule here. After this I gotta go console your mom and then marry an evil/murderous chic/kill Jack/myself or die alone all sad and depressed.

Jack and Rose: 

Cal: Anyway. Rose, come with me.

Rose: No!

Cal: You have to!

Rose: No, I don't! Just because we slept together two months ago and I am now pregnant with a baby that I will either try to convince Jack is his or get him to pity me because of does not mean I will leave with you!

Jack: You what??

Cal: And I suppose now you are going to say that it was all my fault and you had not consent at all?

Rose: Yup, that's right.

Jack: Hey, dudes is it not cool how we're using modern slang when it is 1912?

Cal: So you didn't think I was hot? I distinctly remember you saying I was hot. ::hair is sticking up the way it did every time he got annoyed::

Rose: If I thought you were hot I would have said it again. I was not in my right mind. 

Cal: Whatever. Hey, has anyone noticed that we have not used any contractions at all?

Jack: Totally, is it not strange?

Rose: Hey! I just realized that although I love Jack and can go on without him I will marry someone else within a year of his death!

Jack: I am dead?

Cal: No, you are not.

Jack: Rose, I love you

Rose: Really? I love you too!

::kissing and cuddling::

Cal: Why is it that I always end up alone? ::depressed::

Maybe I'll shoot myself in a year or too because I'm a pathetic bastard who can not survive on his own.

Rose: Then I will mourn you tragically. And Jack will not understand thus creating problems between us.

Jack: Never! I will always love you! Unless you know my old girlfriend comes along/you let my kid die/I think something is going on between you an Cal/Fabrizo/some dude I used to know.

Rose: Good. ::more kissing::

Cal: When the fuck is this thing gonna end?

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	2. The Worst Ever Fanfic2

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The Worst Ever Fanfic-2

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Thanks to the reviewers.The madness is all for you.

Disclaimer: If you think I own this, you must be on something.

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Setting: New York. Jack and Rose are preparing to marry.

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Rose: Is this not ju;t wonderful?

jack: yeah it is great"!

Rose: It is so cool that we are alive

::Door is opened::

Ruth: You cannot do this to me!!

Rose; Do wut?

Ruth: Wait! I do not want u to marry cal anymore1

Cal: You do not?

Ruth: Nope. I am going to stop my selfish overbearing mom kick. 

Rose: Huh?\

Jack: Does this mean she is going to leave us alone?

Ruth: No it means that I am going to be a supportive mom and move in with you because Rose needs me

Rose: I do? 

Ruth: Yup, you do. And my skills as a seamstress are not what they used to be, so I need a place to crash.

Cal: So, I do not get your support?

Ruth: Durh

Jack: I just wanna merry Rose!

Rose: yeah and is it not just so cool that a priest is marrying us and we're not even Catholic?

Jack: I know!

Cal: SCREW THIS!! I DO NOT CARE WHO IS ON MY SIDE I'M GOIN PHYSCO!!

Ruth: Dude, chill.

Cal: NO! 

Jack: You kno what else is cool? How when we go visit where I'm from I got all these cousins and uncles and stuff, when I saod that I didn't have any relativs left!

Rose: Yep, and I just conveniently have a best friend who ahappens to love you/your old best friend was a chic and she is now my best friend.

Cal: Ah, I am giving up. It is hopeless.

Ruth: Dude.

Cal: Huh?

Jack: Weren't you supposed to be pregnant?

::Rose is now drinking vodka::

Rose: Uh, that……….

Cal: I knew it!

Jack: Let us leave now. We can lie to people and get married later

Rose: Ok.

Cal: I got a say in the kid too!

Rose: No you do not!

Cal: And why not?

Rose: Cause I am convincing Jack it is his!

Jack: do you pppl just think I am not here or something?

Ruth: I am not happy! I am poor!! ::whining::

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Note: Don't you just hate those fics where the author NEVER once pressed spell check? 


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